Laugh in the face of debt

Sep 012008

What’s the point in being miserable all the time?

At any one point in our daily lives there are a multitude of things that we can get worried and stressed about. On a grand scale things like terrorism, climate change and the economy will serve up stress. On a smaller but more important scale are the individual fears and worries that we all can have, things like work, relationships, money and in particular debt.

Combine all these things together on any single day and you have a recipe for major stress. By major stress I mean that sick in the pit of your stomach feeling like you are floating on a stormy sea of stress with no beacon of light or hope to guide you, nothing around you only miles and miles of stress.

Not a pretty image.

That said I don’t want to dwell on the negative for too long. I want to speak about a mental approach that can empower you on stressful days. In my article “The dark depressing days of debt” I spoke about how diet and sleep patterns can have a huge impact on your mood. The aim of that article was to help you to stabilize your mood. Now I want to take it to the next level.

What next level?

In my mind the next level up from stabilizing your mood is the level where you are feeling good enough emotionally and physically to start thinking about your debt and the positive actions you can take to get control over your finances.

This site is full of the positive actions you can take to make your finances better so I won’t go into them in detail here. What I do want to discuss is how to boost your mood when the world seems to coming in on top of you.

Laugh in the face of your debt

You’ve probably heard the phrase “laugh in the face of adversity” well I want to change this to “laugh in the face of debt”. A little corny – ok I’ll give you that but I think if you can put aside your reservations and think a little more about what the spirit of the saying “to laugh in the face of adversity” is all about.

To laugh in the face of adversity basically means to take anything that life throws at you and throw it right back.

The following link contains an article that very clearly demonstrates the link between laughing and stress relief – Laugh in the face of adversity: I’m not kidding. In this article the author makes the point that “Humor provides the unique opening to move forward on a positive note.”

To me this just about sums up everything that is good about laughing at your situation.

When I say laughing at your situation I don’t mean a kind of sarcastic and cynical laugh. I mean a good hearty laugh at what has gone wrong. When you laugh at your situation it has to be from a fun and positive perspective – laugh at the silliness of it all. Laugh at how silly you are to be worrying about things that are beyond your control. Laugh at how crazy money makes people.

If you can do these things and adopt a positive relaxed yet proactive attitude to your debt then I can almost guarantee that you will be laughing all the way to the bank.

The dark depressing days of debt

Aug 272008

Always look on the bright side of life? Sometimes it’s not the easiest thing to do especially if you have the debt monkey on your back. Some days you feel like the whole world is against you and that everything is happening in slow motion. This isn’t a debt specific problem – I’m sure wealthy people have their bad days too.

When you are having a bad day and you have a debt problem then it seems like the world is about to end. Nothing you can do is right and you find it incredibly hard to get motivated. I liken it to walking with a lot of mud on your boots. The heavy legs feeling, the lack of mental clarity and focus, the dread of going out and meeting people.

Yeah we’ve all had them.

Why now and why today?

A couple of years ago when these bad days appeared I used to wonder why the heck it was happening and what caused them? At the time I simply thought they were just random occurrences. You were due a bad day every once in awhile. After some time I began to realize that there is nothing random about these bad days. I now put these down days to cause and effect.

So what are the causes of these bad days?

For me food plays a huge part in my mood. I’m not diabetic but I certainly think I am sugar sensitive. Stimulant drinks like coffee or sugary foods like chocolate or white bread send my mood soaring but the come down can be hard. If I eat a lot sugary foods then I know for sure that I am heading for a sugar crash. This sugar crash in turn will lead me to see the world in slightly less than rose colored glasses.

Do you think that you may have the same problem? You might have but you might not yet realize it. The following article “Does Food affect Mood” goes into the explanation as to how food affects mood in more detail. It is well worth a read.

Directly related to food is something that also has a huge impact on my mood and that is sleep.

For me sleep is sacred. I know that may seem like an over the top statement but if I’m honest I’m like a bear with a toothache if I don’t get enough sleep. If I’m working hard and have had a few late nights in a row then my mood drops off a cliff.

When I’m tired from lack of sleep I tend to drink more coffee and eat more sugary food. These give me a short term boost but then they only add to my woes as their effects begin to wear off and I feel even more tired in the long run.

The link between food and sleep works both ways. Drink too much coffee before you go to bed and you will have a restless sleep at best or stare at the ceiling all night long at worst.

The food sleep relationship can be a vicious circle for me. This process repeats itself until eventually I have a bad day. To me having a bad day is my body’s way of warning me that I am pushing it and that I am not looking after myself. Once I sit out the bad day its like my body resets itself and says “okay we cleared the junk out for now but you really do need to get it together boy”.

I usually heed this warning and try to watch what I’m eating and try to get to bed at a reasonable time. This seems to work and once I take care of myself my mood returns to normal.

The debt effect

In the previous section I outlined how my food and sleep has a big impact on my mood. Feeling bad from poor food choices and lack of sleep is one thing. When you couple them with a debt problem that only seems to rear its ugly head when you having a bad day then that is a completely different thing.

When you are having a bad day every single negative thing in your life seems magnified ten fold. The debt burden that seemed controllable yesterday is overwhelming today. These negative feelings towards your debt can cause even more negative thoughts. It is these negative thoughts that feed on your bad mood and make you feel even worse. That debt problem seems to be growing and growing as the day goes on.

If you don’t stop your thoughts in their tracks then it will make for a very bad day.

I’m sure wealthy people have these negative days. Everyone does. But if you are in debt then these bad days have that extra element of stress associated with them.

Solutions?

I’m all about keeping it simple. Here are a couple of ideas to help you reduce the effects of a bad day.

Watch what you eat.

Simple, clichéd and boring advice but what you eat and dink is incredibly important in regulating your mood. You’ve probably heard this a thousand times “you are what you eat” – that phrase is so over used but it’s so true. I’m not talking about weight gain or loss I’m simply talking about mood regulation. Food is the key.

Get more quality sleep.

No I didn’t say sleep more! I said get more quality sleep. To me quality sleep means uninterrupted stress free sleep. So that means giving yourself time to wind down and de-stress before you go to bed. Make your bedroom an oasis of calm. Like the porridge in the Goldilocks and the three bears story, your bedroom should be not too hot and not too cool – just right.

The “I will deal with it tomorrow” card

I have a personal rule that I never make big decisions on an empty stomach, when I’m tired or when I’m in a bad mood. The reason why is that my decision making skills are seriously impaired if I am not feeling 100%. When I am having a bad day I put off making decisions – especially financial decisions – until the next day. If I’m still feeling less than 100% the following day then I simply put off the decision until I am feeling better even if it is a week later.

I go as far as saying to myself that there is no point even thinking about financial problems until I am in a better mood. I call this my “I’ll deal with it tomorrow” card. This is where I feel I can legitimately say to myself that I am excused from taking any action or even thinking about stuff.

For the rest of the day my focus is then on simply getting through the day and doing what I need to do just to function. In work I’m operating on automatic. I’m not doing my most creative work but then again I know the reason why so I don’t beat myself up about it.

Simple fact – bad days happen

The best and quickest way I find to deal with a bad day is to acknowledge that I am having one. Face up to the fact that it’s going to be raining all day and try to salvage what I can from the day. Focus on the simple easy to do tasks and put my head down get stuck in and tune out all my other thoughts as best as possible.

One point I will make is that while everyone has bad days if they persist and everyday seems to be a bad day even after you have changed what you eat and fixed your sleeping habits then it might be time to consider getting professional help.

Debt and health

Aug 182008

‘Your health is your wealth’

In my experience health is never really given much consideration until something goes wrong. People tend to take their health for granted. However as soon as they get sick or need to visit the doctor their attention focuses firmly on their medical insurance.

If you are in debt then your focus should be on where you can cut your expenses. However cutting things that have an impact on your health can be disastrous in the long term. Health insurance, diet and leisure pursuits usually take a direct hit when someone is designing their budgets and debt management plans.

Getting out of debt requires cutbacks and savings. These cutbacks and savings should not be at the cost of your own or your family’s health. You can’t put a value on health and by trying to cut your health expenditure that is what you are doing – trying to put a value on your health.

The three main areas that come under scrutiny in any household budget but also have a direct impact on health are 1. Health Insurance 2. Diet and 3. Leisure pursuits.

Health insurance.

With money problems one of the first things to go is health insurance. Many people look on health insurance as a nice to have rather than a need to have. If their employer does not provide health insurance then for many it is the obvious choice to start budgeting with. However I cannot stress strongly enough how important health insurance is. By all means shop around for the best provider or see if you can bundle your home and car insurance to get a better deal but do not get rid of your health insurance.

The thing about adequate health insurance is that you hope that you will never have to use it. If you have health insurance then you can be confident that there is health insurance there if you need it but ultimately you never want to use it. Some may argue that you are in good shape and don’t get sick often so why bother? I say great! But you don’t want to be caught short if you have the misfortune of getting sick or need to visit the hospital.

Diet.

As it stands the average diet in the western world is pretty bad. Millions of us exist (or should that be subsist) on a diet of processed refined nutrient deficient foods. Sure they might taste good but they don’t contribute much to our health and in some cases they take away from it and in turn take away from our pockets.

The question you have to ask is whether or not it is more or less expensive to eat well. I have made the argument before about buying generic food products as opposed to the more expensive branded products. This makes sense as they are generally cheaper versions of the same thing. My argument here is that we should consider whether or not in the long run it costs more to eat well.

Eating well is a whole other topic – the field is enormous and the opinions vastly different. Everyone has their own opinion as to what exactly eating well means. The point I am trying to make is that eating something that is obviously bad for you just because it is cheaper than the more healthy alternative does not make sense and in the long run it will cost you even more in terms of doctors and dentist visits. Just because your local fast food joint is doing a two for one special doesn’t mean you have to eat there. To me that is a false economy.

Leisure pursuits.

What I originally called the title of this section was Gym membership but I realize that not everyone holds a gym membership. The nice thing about talking about gym membership is that it allows me to perfectly illustrate the impact that debt can have on a person’s health.

In my post about passive expenses I made the point that things like gym membership can be an unnecessary drain on your finances especially if you are paying a monthly subscription. However I want to point out that I was referring to unused gym memberships. If you are not using your gym membership then by all means try to cut that expense out. If you are using your gym membership then look on it as a legitimate budget expense and don’t beat yourself up over it – even if it is expensive. The long term benefits of going to the gym on a regular basis will serve you well in the years to come.

The same logic should apply to any of the other leisure pursuits that people enjoy. If it is done on a regular basis and is seen as being a positive then work it into your budget if at all possible.

Becoming fit and healthy is more important than getting out of debt. In reality if you are not fit and healthy you will find getting out of debt a lot more difficult. The reason why is because getting out of debt requires a lot of energy and focus. Debt is stressful and no matter what way you cut it getting out of debt takes time and energy.

Debt Management – Analysis Paralysis

Jun 032008

If debt is eating into your life, eroding your sanity then it is likely that you’re sacred and worried. You’re probably not even sure how you got into this situation. You know that you want out but you don’t know which way is out. At times it feels like you are running around in circles chasing your tail. When you do focus on the problem it just seems too enormous to know where to start. What? Where? When? How? All these questions go racing through you head and puts you in a spin.

Thinking about your debt problem too much can lead to a situation called analysis paralysis. I’ve seen this repeated over and over again and not just in relation to debt. What happens is that when someone is faced with a problem they tend to over think the situation. They over analyze every single aspect but in the end take no action because every action they think about taking they come up with ten reasons not to take it. Their thinking is like a constant battle between finding solutions and finding problems with those solutions. The net result is zero. No action gets taken and the problem still exists and in many cases the problem is even worse because of the time lag.

If this situation describes you or if you have experienced this first hand then don’t worry. I’m pretty sure we all have experienced it at some stage in our lives. I certainly know that I have and no doubt will do it again. By sitting there and thinking about a problem we feel like we are making progress and this would be correct up to a point. At a certain point we slip from constructively thinking about a problem to over analyzing it. When is that point reached? It’s hard to know but when you find yourself coming back to the same solutions over and over again and thinking the same thoughts you can be sure that your are stuck in the analysis paralysis loop.

The attractive thing about thinking and analyzing a problem is that it doesn’t really involve too much physical effort. By thinking about a problem in abstract you don’t have to get too involved and can avoid getting your hands dirty. The ironic thing about analyzing a problem to death is that the more you think about the problem the less likely you are to find a solution or at least a solution that you are happy with. Its fine and dandy to spend time thinking about the latest advances in budgeting software and how it will solve all your debt problems, but until you get up and take some action none of your debt problems will be solved.

With debt there is very rarely one grand solution that wipes away all your debt problems. It’s more the case that the solution to your debt problem is made up of lots of different smaller solutions that when combined prove effective. Looking for that grand solution that will solve your problems will likely be a waste of time. What you need to look for is lots of small and simple actions that you can take that will all contribute to solve your debt problems.

The great thing about smaller actions is that they are generally easier to take. As a result smaller actions can help you get out of the analysis paralysis funk. On top of that the smaller solutions usually involve forming positive habits that will serve you well into the future not just in the here and now. Smaller actions cost less in terms of both time and energy. They are generally simpler to implement and while on their own may not be as effective as you would like, combined with other small actions they can be a potent force. With small actions it’s a case of the ‘sum of the parts is greater that the whole’, in other words the small actions are best when combined with other small actions and in turn they are more effective than one grand action.

What small actions?The key with small actions is to devise a list of actions that are suitable to you. Not what someone else thinks is suitable for you. You need to push yourself but not over exert because otherwise you will get annoyed when things don’t happen as fast as you would like.

So at this point I’m advising that you do actually sit down and think. No for too long though. Think about all the small things that you can do to improve your financial situation. Start writing them down – make a list. The things on the list can be miniscule actions like taking the coins in your pocket and placing them in a jar. Seriously. What we are looking for is a list of small reinforcing positive actions with each action feeding on the momentum of previous one. At some point you will reach a critical mass and have a breakthrough with your struggle with debt. This works – trust me.

Once you have made your list take the easiest item on the list and do it. No! Not the hardest item the easiest. You don’t go from learning to drive one day and competing in the Indy 500 the next? Take it easy. Remember the goal here is to get you out of the analysis paralysis funk and into a state of taking action however small.

Try to make it a fun experience and make sure to reward yourself when you complete each task. The rewards should be in proportion to the actions you take so if you honestly think that you took some serious action then give yourself a good reward. The reward shouldn’t be monetary. It could be something like watching reruns of your favorite TV show.

It’s easy to be seduced into thinking that you are making progress with your debt when you are thinking about it all day. It’s true that in order to physically go somewhere you need to go there in your head first i.e. see yourself in that place first and mentally prepare yourself for the journey. However every thought needs to be expressed in physical action so there is no point spending your entire time thinking and talking about something when you should just be out there doing it. Time waits for no one and the long you sit there thinking about something the further away it is moving. So please don’t be all talk and no action when it comes to your debt.

Do you have the energy to fight debt? Part 2

May 292008

In part one of we spoke about the way your thoughts can drain your mental energy leaving you in no fit state to tackle your debts. The tiredness associated with tackling your debts is primarily a mental tiredness. As mentioned in part one this mental tiredness is related to the mental clutter in your life. Clear the mental clutter and you will free up mental capacity and mental energy to allow you to focus on your debts. It’s not just your thoughts that can drain you though. Your environment plays a big part also.

Is your home clean and clutter free?

I don’t mean to pry but is your home clean? The reason I ask is that you are less likely to want to sit down and do some work on your finances if your environment is messy and its stressing you out. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a cleaning fascist. I’m just making the point that a clean and clutter free environment will help clear your thinking. I’ll give you an example. If I don’t clean the kitchen and put away the dishes from the night before then the next morning I get a little stressed. Here in front of me is work that I should have done yesterday. I am reminded that I have been lazy and that I have a pile of work today and next thing you know I have the whole Chicken Little complex that the sky is going to fall.

If your home is cluttered your thoughts will be cluttered and if your thoughts are cluttered you are going to suffer from inertia. Then it’s back to square one. Check out this link for information on how to declutter your home. Discover organisation

Sorting through the paperwork

In theory this section deserves an article by itself but I want to make a few key points here.

Part of the problem with tackling your debts is the lack of a clear picture as to your income and expenses. To begin with most people don’t know where to locate the paperwork that relates to their finances. A lot of it gets lost in the clutter of their homes – some gets thrown out in the thrash, some just disappears.

As a very simple action that is easy to implement I suggest you get a big cardboard box. In this cardboard box place absolutely every piece of paperwork that even remotely relates to your finances. So into the box goes bills, bank statements, credit card statements, till receipts, credit card receipts, letters from banks, credit card offers, loan offers. Do this for a month but don’t bother looking at the contents of the box for that time. Just continue on as you would normally do, paying the usual bills that you would pay.

Make sure to give yourself a month. This is important for a number of reasons. First off you will need a months worth of financial information to help you form a budget and get a clearer understanding of where you are financially. Secondly you will need at least a month to help you move mentally from a place of resistance and inertia to a place of action. You will need to build up the mental strength to tackling the contents of the box. Especially because you will probably not like what you find in the box.

Virtuous circle

To give yourself the best chance of finding the energy to tackle your debts you need to create a virtuous circle. A virtuous circle is the opposite of a vicious circle. With a virtuous circle each positive action reinforces the existing positives and in turn creates more positives. Compound interest is an example of a virtuous circle. You can earn interest on the interest that you have already earned.  Even Einstein had a lot to say about compound interest calling it “the most powerful force in the universe”. A virtuous circle can be a very powerful thing. If you manage to get even the smallest virtuous circle going in your life then the effects it has will be profound. How to complete the loop of your virtuous circle? Well that is entirely up to you.

Do you have the energy to fight debt? Part 1

May 282008

When I read personal finance books I generally feel like the life is being sucked out of me. I am hit by a wave of tiredness. Part of the reason why has to do with the fact that most Personal Finance books are dull. They are full of facts and figures and they can be well written but they make what is already an unappealing subject even more unappealing. The thing is I actually like personal finance and I enjoy reading about new ideas in relation to personal finance. But if I am honest most of these books put me to sleep.

If these books put me to sleep I can only imagine what they are doing to people with no interest in personal finance. People in debt may have been recommended to buy a certain book as a quick solution to their debt problems. However it is likely that some of them will become even more frustrated and depressed if they are faced with a book that is boring.

It’s not just the personal finance books that cause people to go into a trance. The whole field of personal finance is almost like a dirty word to most people. There seems to be an inbuilt resistance to tackling financial problems – particularly debt problems. Most people just don’t want to know, sure they’d like to have all their financial problems solved but when push comes to shove they are not really bothered.

You come home after a long hard day at work, you’re tired and hungry. The last thing you want to do is sit down and go through the process of creating a budget or sorting your bills. I know I’ve been there. In fact it can get even worse because when you know that you should be doing work on your personal finances you start to feel guilty. But no matter how guilty you feel you still can’t overcome the inertia that has you sitting in front of the TV all night.

The weekends aren’t much better. You wake up on Saturday morning full of confidence. You assure yourself that this weekend you will tackle your finances. By noon on Saturday you still haven’t done anything but you are still confident – there’s plenty of weekend left. By six on Saturday you decide to enjoy your evening and you will sort your finances tomorrow. Sunday is not much better. It passes by so fast that you don’t even have time to think. Its eight o’clock before you realize that you forgot to look at your finances. Ok you say to yourself I’ll do it one night during the week. Unfortunately that one night during the week never happens. Your finances remain the same.

Now the scenario above is a bit general but it outlines nicely the way most of us manage to push looking at our finances as far away as possible. I’ve always had a problem with looking at my finances. Ironic I know but true. I often wondered why this was. The reason I came up with is that I was tired and the thoughts of looking at my finances made me even more tired. For me looking at my finances was too much like work.

Do you feel the same? Do you feel that looking at your finances is too much like hard work? Well you’re right it is like work and it’s certainly not easy. So how do you overcome that inertia?

Clear the mental clutter

Before you can tackle your finances you need to tackle the mental clutter. The feelings of tiredness and dread come primarily from the one hundred and one thoughts going through your mind at any one time.

The simplest way to tackle this mental clutter is to write a list. On this list write down all your thoughts – however random. In fact the more random the better. You will feel immense relief once you get these thoughts down on paper. You are in effect verbalizing your problems, hopes, fears, dreams and worries. This allows you to then think about your thoughts in a more structured and logically fashion. Do this for a week – everyday after you get home from work. You will be surprised at difference it will make. After the week is up you will probably notice a pattern to your thoughts. This pattern should then be used as the basis for an action list.

I know the dreaded ‘A’ word – action. But trust me you’ll enjoy this. Ok so you have your list of thoughts and you have highlighted the recurring thoughts. Now what I want you to do is to write down three fun and enjoyable actions that you can take that will help you solve your problems or resolve a particular situation that you are thinking about. For example if you are stressed at work – you could invite a close friend at work for a coffee or a beer and you could have a good rant about the situation. You could take your companies logo and put it on a dart board and fire darts at it for an hour or so. The list is endless but the emphasis has to be on fun fun fun. You have to take actions that will allow you to let off steam and enjoy yourself.

So what has this go to do with my debt and personal finance? Well the aim is to tackle the problem of your inaction in a roundabout way. For most people the thoughts of diving head first into their financial problems can be too much. It was financial neglect that caused the problem in the first place and this is not going to be solved overnight. The goal here is to clear your mental clutter and get the cogs of action turning in your brain. You’re more likely to take action if it seems appealing so the key here is to make it appealing.

I mentioned it in previous articles but one technique that I find really useful is NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming. A bit like brain surgery without the actually surgery. Here is a link to an ebook that comes highly recommended. Success with NLP

In Part 2 of this article I discuss the impact of environment and how it can slow you down mentally and impeded your progress.

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