Debt – you’re going to get through this. It just takes time.

The biggest problem that the people I know who are in debt complain about is the thought that they are stuck with a life sentence. Some of them have so much debt that it will take them anywhere between ten and fifteen years to pay off. This is not including their mortgage. A lot have a feeling of dread that their life is over and they are now in servitude for the next ten years.

This can be incredibly tough to accept mentally. What crime have they committed that means they have to spend the next ten years in a financial rut? They wanted a better life for themselves and their families – where is the crime in that? Now they are faced with the situation where they are forced to work just to survive and to pay the bank off. They are in effect working for the bank.

Some of the more harsh readers among you might say that they get what they deserve. They lived the highlife and now they are paying the price. I don’t agree. In many cases people got into debt as a result of a relationship breakdown or health problems. Granted a lot did also ‘Live the highlife’ but we are not here to point the finger and throw stones. We’re here to offer support and hopefully good ideas on eliminating debt. What value is there in saying ‘I told you so’, apart from feeding your ego? It won’t help anyone by pointing the finger so let’s move on.

There is no point in beating around the bush. If you are in debt then you are faced with a long hard struggle to get out of it. Make no mistake – its not going to be easy. You might get lucky and come into a windfall or have a family member pay it all off for you but the chances are remote. You have to mentally prepare yourself for the long hard struggle ahead.

I know what some of you are thinking right now – “To hell with this struggling with debt for the next ten years, I’m just going to declare myself bankrupt and be done with it”. Unless things are absolutely beyond redemption then I do not recommend that you declare yourself bankrupt. Declaring yourself bankrupt is a life sentence in that it will hang around your credit record for a long time. Declaring yourself bankrupt is not the easy option you might think it is. In the long run it may prove even more painful than struggling with your debts.

The daily grind

It’s the daily debt grind that gets most people in the end and causes them to struggle most. The little routines that you have built up over the years are now the very routines that you have to fight against. The nice gourmet coffee, the daily newspapers, the nice expensive sandwiches for lunch. When times are tough and morale is low it is these nice enjoyable expensive habits that you are most likely to slip back into.

When you are in the trenches fighting your own personal war against debt it can seem like the loneliest place in the world. The struggle with debt, your struggle with debt, is something that is intensely personal. No one can go through it for you but it is something that you must go through. Don’t make it hard on yourself; reach out to people in similar situations. Join chat forums on the internet; join debtors anonymous, talk to your friends and family. Make sure that while you are taking this debt journey yourself that you have people you can rely on for emotional support and back up when times get tough. Believe me times will get tough.

Coping strategies

One way you can make it easier on yourself and make the struggle less painful is to develop coping strategies. Coping strategies are the small little actions that will allow you to cope with the more painful elements of your new debt reduction lifestyle. Coping strategies are important as they act like a pressure valve. When you get stressed and emotional your coping strategies will allow you to let off steam and recalibrate your efforts.

Coping strategies don’t have to be complex and elaborate, in fact the simpler the better. Coping strategies could simply be a reward system that you create that rewards you when achieve a certain debt reduction target. The rewards don’t have to involve money or if they do they should be inexpensive but ultimately the rewards should be something you like to do.

Other coping strategies could be mental. Every time you feel that you are being overwhelmed you could create a little oasis of calm in your mind. Meditation and visualization can be very useful here. These techniques will allow you to remain calm and focused on your goals.

The ultimate coping strategy is one that should be built into your debt reduction plan.

When designing your long term debt reduction plan you should build in enough slack into your budgets and plans that allows you to still maintain some aspects of your existing lifestyle. For example if you currently spend $600 a month on non grocery shopping then a realistic budget should trim that down to something like $200. You still can enjoy your shopping but you’ll just have less money to spend and in time it will become more of a treat.

Always focus on the end goal

The end goal should be to get yourself to a place where you feel that your debt is no longer a problem and that you are in control of your finances. I know someone who stayed in the same job that they hated for three years just so that they could get their debts under control. When the debts were no longer an issue the first thing they did was get a new job. The relief they felt was enormous. Remember to always keep your eyes on the prize.